Nonny’s Garden

Certain times of the year seem to prompt certain memories, flooding my mind with beautiful images of the past. Early spring is such a time for me. The garden is just beginning to wake up and those precious early blooms grace quiet spaces. This is a sacred time for me, a time when my grandmother’s garden comes alive in my mind. She and I had so many special traditions. And she passed many of her hobbies down to me. Her love of gardening and nature was such a hobby. In my grandmother’s garden, I learned to love things that grow. I learned that beauty takes time to develop and God’s timing was always right. My grandmother, my Nonny, was an extraordinary lady. She loved unconditionally and without expectation. She loved simply. Through her actions, I knew I was safe, loved, and treasured.

Nonny’s garden was one of her favorite places. It was alive with all kinds of flowers, bulbs, bushes, and trees. There were stone statues, garden signs, and bird feeders throughout. My favorite space was the daffodil patch under the big tree by the garden shed. There were daffodils throughout her garden in the springtime, but under the tree, they were allowed to grow wild. They naturalized into this bright, beautiful tapestry every spring, flooding the whole yard with happiness.

There were rules to picking Nonny’s daffodils of course. Rules I gladly obeyed as I chose my treasures to present to her. She always treated each bouquet as the most precious gift. It delighted my heart to see her face light up when I presented my selection to her. And she always placed them in a beautiful, hand-blown yellow glass pitcher. Daffodils deserved special recognition in Nonny’s kitchen.

Those rules were simple but not negotiable. Tread lightly, to protect the plants themselves. Never take all the blooms, save some for the bees. Only pick what will fit in the pitcher, and pick gently, taking the whole stalk. At the time, they were just rules, Nonny-isms that we followed just because. But it’s the lessons behind those rules that I cherish most. Lessons I gladly pass on to her great-grandchildren. Treasure nature, enjoy things of beauty, take care of the bees, and be generous without waste.

As I sit in my dining room on this rainy spring day, I can see those precious daffodils peeking over my computer screen from their blown-glass vase. That simple little vase is my greatest treasure. It was the only thing I asked for when my Nonny passed away. It’s just a simple vase. Flawed and imperfect…kind of like me. But loved beyond measure for the memories it holds.

the heart of community

Starting a post is always the hardest part. It’s that awkward introduction when you’re face to face with a stranger and not sure who should speak first. As an experienced, people-loving, extrovert, that awkward place is the drop-dead epicenter of my wheelhouse. I love it there. I love people. New people, friends I’ve known forever, people I recognize but can’t place their names…those are my people. My favorite moment is that visible sigh of relief that comes over a new person when they realize they are safe in whatever setting we are in. I love that. So, if you are new here, welcome!  If you’ve been here before, welcome back!

Fresh off the heels of Mother’s Day weekend, I feel like I just returned from a long vacation. I have a routine to get back to and work to look forward to. It feels good to get back to writing. I have spent the last 18 months working on a 2-year writing project, one that I look forward to sharing when the time comes.  

Like all of you, I am in the throes of a pandemic that seems like it will never end. In truth, it hasn’t been so bad for our family. I stay at home, I work from home, I homeschool in a literal Eden. My family’s workers have been working, the kids have been learning and playing like normal. We have mastered the art of ordering groceries and livestock feed. We haven’t really missed a beat. There have been seasons of struggle, seasons of triumph, seasons of weariness and seasons of sweet rest. But I wonder…How are you doing?

It occurred to me that as we approach the end of the school year and all of the kids are getting antsy, someone should check in on you. How are you doing? What does life look like for you? Are you home? Is that by choice or by force? Are you working? Again, what does that look like? When the pandemic first began, I would field dozens of questions each day about homeschooling, about working from home, about curriculum…so many questions about curriculum. But how is school going? How is work going? What does your social life look like? How are YOU?

In the homeschool world, there are many different terms we throw around. Homeschooling, unschooling, co-op learning, online learning, hybrid learning and more…each has its pros and cons. Each has its passionate supporters and its avid critics. But none of them truly match covid-learning. Covid-learning is a beast all its own. See, homeschooling is a choice that parents make with intention and conviction. It’s a decision that ushers in a life-style. Each situation is as unique and free as the family that designs it. And we love it. But covid-schooling is not homeschooling. Let me say that again, covid-schooling is not homeschooling. How many of you are feeling your feathers ruffle just by reading that?  Hopefully, all of us feel a bit put out by that phrase. That phrase alone has yielded more negative press than I ever thought possible. Today we are going take a step toward fixing that. Stay with me, I’m on your side. 😊

Imagine if you will…you’ve gone to school, you’ve built a career, or are exploring career options, you have a social life, friends, families, traditions that you enjoy. And your kids, oh those sweet kids that play ball with the neighbor kids, that join clubs at school, perhaps they are learning to read or write or do art or play music, perhaps they found a sport they enjoy…close your eyes and imagine that life for just a moment. Suddenly the phone rings. It’s the principal of your child’s school. “Their teacher cannot come in, we’re not sure how long they will be out,” he says, “You’re needed in the classroom right away. We’re not sure what you will teach or how you will teach it but show up in the morning and be ready to go. Oh, I almost forgot, there’s an invisible monster that has been discovered in our community and the kids, well, they’re kinda freaking out right now. Best of luck!” That, my friends, is covid-schooling. No choices, no options, no planning…suddenly your life is flipped upside down. Your spouse, your kids, the whole neighborhood is thrown into chaos. And those poor teachers! Plan? Nope! Desire? Commitment? Sacrifice?  Irrelevant. You are all in, like it or not.

For seasoned homeschoolers, it’s a much different game. We chose this. We planned for it. Maybe we had fewer play dates or sacrificed a few field trips. We worry for our families and pray for our communities. But the school thing? We got this. And we make it sound easy, don’t we? The structure, the planning, the grading (and the fighting and whining and complaining, and how on Earth are they hungry AGAIN?!) Work you say? Oh, that’s easy. Just set up a corner office in a quiet place in your house, hang up the homemade sign that says, “mommy is working” and all will be well…what could possibly go wrong? Please dear friends, don’t let image stand in the way of reality. This thing we are doing is hard! This thing you are doing is just as hard.

To my homeschooling friends, our covid-schooling neighbors do not need another blog about “101 ways to organize your home-school” or “the beginners guide to curriculum”. There will be a perfect time for both of those, but not today. Today, they need a different kind of help They need people, live humans checking in on them. They are overwhelmed and understaffed. Call them!  Write them notes. Drop a casserole on their porch. Just reach out. Please!!  Because you know that craziness that happens when summer gets close and lesson plans feel more like guidelines?  They have that in spades, and they need reinforcements.

And for those of you raising special needs kiddos, we see you. Maybe you are missing resources normally provided by the school. Perhaps you are desperate for the relief those few precious hours of time bring, to calm your mind and strengthen your resolve. Let me encourage you, don’t give up. Stay strong. We see you. We will ask stupid questions and make rookie mistakes, but we would love to help you. What do you need? Do you need someone to bring you your favorite latte and visit for five minutes? Do you need a sandwich or an ice cream? Do you need someone to sit with your child while you wash your hair? Or perhaps help with the dishes, or the laundry, or housework that never seems to end and does not care that you have your hands full with more important things. We can be trained. And we want to help.

My heart aches for the chances I have missed and the opportunities I have not taken. My heart breaks for those parents who feel lost and utterly alone, for the children who crave the hug of a grandparent or the high-five of a best friend. Friends, the battle isn’t over until we give up. Let us stay the course. Let us come together in whatever manner we can and stand together. Let us rejoice in one another’s successes and lock arms in each other’s battles. Let us encourage one another from a place of peace and gratitude, with no other agenda than to be helpful. Our neighbors need this. Our friends need this. We need this. Look for opportunities to share hope and spread joy. And those of you who live close to me: feel free to bring the casserole! 

Returning To My First Love

What a joy it is to return to writing!  I have been away too long. The last 12 months have proven exciting to say the least!  My son in law has returned from his last deployment. He has finished his time with the military and has relocated his family to within minutes of my home. What a blessing it is to have them all so close by. Watching my grandson grow has been such a joy. I truly could not have imagined anything like it. He has such a talent for keeping his Nana’s attention!

After a truly busy season in life, the activities have lessened only slightly. Summer is rapidly approaching. It is open house season, a time to celebrate the accomplishments of the young people we know. I confess I look forward to attending parties rather than planning them. Having watched two of my beautiful children successfully transition to adulthood, I am happy for my friends to share such experiences.

The weather has been less agreeable, however, and the summer vegetables have yet to be planted in full. I’m fairly certain that this week will see their completion. If not, well, let’s just say I will be forced to visit the local farmers market more often. 🙂  The next week will be busy indeed!  The gardens have seen a great many changes this season already. I will post pictures as I go. Gardening is such a pleasurable hobby for me. Creation seems an artist’s tapestry come to life.  I am blessed to have been mentored by great gardeners and I truly enjoy passing their wisdom on to others.

The final challenge will be in transitioning to our summer school schedule. Yes, we continue school in the summer. This year will be much different as our youngest daughter is now reading independently. We have purchased hammocks this year and my intent is to see her reading often, in the shade of her favorite tree. She is beginning to share my heart for adventure. We have many summer activities planned for our enjoyment and learning. The beach, the woods, camping, museums, adventures…It is shaping up to be a great season!

Reflections

I am 46 years old. I have lived only 25 years of my adult life. God willing I have 40+ more to go!  Pretty exciting if you think about it. I’ve seen so much “life” already! To think that there are so many more adventures still waiting to be discovered…Yes! I look forward to them all.

If the last 25 years are any indication, the next 40 will not be all sunshine and rainbows. But if I have learned anything at all, it is that God is in control of it all. He is faithful to provide for me, faithful to lead me, fully trustworthy with my dreams and desires.

 

My son graduates high school this week. He is my only son. I have tried my best to prepare him for adulthood. My experience with him has been entirely different than with his elder sister, and will be with his younger sister. He is a man now. I could not be more proud. And yet I realize that he is just beginning to understand what it means to be a man. And God will teach him so much more along the way. I look forward to watching his adventure unfold.

We were talking this morning about life transitions. The transition from high school to adulthood is one of the most dramatic of our lives. One minute everything makes sense. There is an order and a process; the expectations are clear and success is measurable. The next minute? Complete freedom. The sky is the limit and nothing is certain. That kind of freedom can be overwhelming to a person. And I ask myself as a parent, have I done enough? Are my adult children ready? Did I leave anything out? Did I forget something really important that they will struggle as a result of later on? I pray daily for each of them, knowing that God has them in His hands. They are covered by His saving grace and nothing can separate them from Him.

Life is full of lessons and challenges. Kids are great for a parent’s prayer life! They challenge, they push, they stretch the patience of even the strongest parent. But kids are amazing. They make us parents become better people. They give us purpose and help us define our meaning, if only for a season. They add richness to life as nothing else can.

I tried to show them the importance of working hard, and being proud of a job well done. I tried to show them the joy of independence and the importance of dependence on God. I tried to show them how close God is and how prayer changes everything. I tried to show them that it’s never too late for a do-over. I tried to show them that God willing they can accomplish anything they set their minds to. I tried to teach them to never give up, the importance of family and the necessity of adventure. Laughter really is the best medicine and forgiveness is the greatest gift you can give yourself or someone else.

I hope that one day they are as proud of their children as I am of them. I pray that they too will realize the joy of watching their children succeed as I have. I pray that one day they will understand how much I love them.

I did not do a perfect job. Their lives are full of examples of what not to do. Full of mistakes and uncertainties. But they are also full of joyfulness, playfulness, and dreams just waiting to be fulfilled. I made mistakes. They will too. That’s what grace is for. I hope they will cling to the joyful moments, taking with them an example of kindness and peace. I hope they will forgive the hurtful times, when I completely missed the mark. And most of all, I pray that they seek Jesus first in their lives; that they lead their children toward a life with Christ.

 

Living in the Present

It seems this week I have been bombarded with the same message: live in the present. From daily devotionals to conversations with friends to mentoring my children, always it is the same. Focus on today, live in today. Plans are important to be sure. But they are exactly that, just plans, ideas. The Bible tells us that we only find Jesus in the present. We will not find Him anywhere else. I read this week that we were designed for the present. It makes sense if I think about it. Lamenting the past brings sadness, reliving the glory days brings wistfulness and longing. So too, worrying about the future brings nothing but stress and anxiety. And so there is peace in living in the present. There is peace in knowing that good or bad, this is all we have to contend with.

I’ve been working recently on time management, and what it really means to “manage time”. The truth is we don’t manage time at all. We manage ourselves, prioritize our choices based on whatever litmus test we hold most dear. Time is not manageable. Time is an idea. It’s just a concept really. Certainly not the tyrannical dictator we suppose it to be.

Real success lies in our approach to time. How do we face the 168 hours we are planning for each week? What are the expectations we place on ourselves?  Am I being honest with myself about my priorities? And does my plan reflect God’s priorities or my own? Have I taken the time to truly listen to Him or just laid out a list of things I think He should focus on? I’m not going to venture too far down the rabbit hole here as that last question really deserves several posts of its own. My point here is this: In meeting us only in the present, Jesus gives us one of His greatest gifts…the opportunity for peace.

So let us consider our 168 hours. Let us dream about the possibilities this week may hold. Let us set goals to strive for and markers to measure our accomplishments. But then lets get back to real living…right here in the present. Let us always remember that in all the 168 hours we face each week, the one that really matters is the one we are in right now.

May God bless you with His peace as you pursue your endeavors. May you find peace in His presence.